Delocated: A Goofy Spoof (That's Actually Quite Entertaining)

"What happens when you take a family from the Witness Protection Program, move them to New York City, and give them their own reality show?" When browsing around for a television show to write about, that premise caught the eye quicker than any other. It's genius! Well, maybe genius is an overstatement, but it at least seemed somewhat funny. It's the premise of the television show comedy Delocated, and it airs during Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming.

The story follows the life of a man after he testifies against a member of the Russian mafia. He must take his family into FBI protection and remain undercover, which is especially difficult given that he agreed to take part in a reality show based on his life in the Witness Protection Program. As part of the deal, the family is relocated to a loft in New York, where camera crews record every moment of the family's life. Most of the focus is on the fictional reality show that exists within Delocated, that is, it contains and develops a cast of characters that produce the fictional reality show.

Most of the comical moments in the show take place when main character "Jon" (an alias established by the Witness Protection Program) interacts with his divorced ex-wife, girlfriend, or his son. There's an indescribable appeal to the way that this incredibly self-absorbed (to the point of narcissism) character treats everything like a joke to the point of awkwardness, constantly overstates his own greatness and simultaneously belittles everyone around him.

The ways that Delocated explores the logic of an exaggerated version of a frat-boy kept me entertained throughout. An example of the typical dialogue: "Jon, I have to speak with you in private," The teacher of Jon's son says, referring to the son's frequent absences from school. "Listen, I appreciate the offer and all, but I don't know if it would be appropriate to take my son's teacher to the 'Bone Zone', know what I mean?" Jon says, leaving a half perplexed and half revolted look on the teacher's face.

Delocated does some serious mocking of the reality television genre through its portrayal of the fictional reality show. The lead producer of the reality show "Mighty Joe John, The Black Blonde" is constantly instigating the Russian Mafia to seek out the fleeing family in order to increase ratings. While obviously ridiculous, creating unethical situations for increased viewership is something that seems to be turning into a reality show convention. Exposing a darker side of television through deadpan humor and black comedy adds an extra level of enjoyment to watching the show.

Despite how enjoyable the show has been thus far, Delocated's humorously convoluted story could be its eventual downfall. If the next season introduces even more characters and sub-plots, it could detract from the fundamental purpose of the show: Laughter. Primarily, people will be watching Delocated for comedic therapy. Spending more time setting up dramatic elements takes away from time that could be spent splitting sides. No one wants another The Office.

Some viewers might find the humor to be rather easy or immature at certain points, but it is for the most part, a well-written and acted comedy. Which really is no surprise considering that most of the jokes are written by Jon Glaser (plays the character "Jon"), who was part of the writing staff for Late Night With Conan O' Brian for many years. The producers have created other Adult Swim hits such as Wonder Showzen and Xavier: Renegade Angel. Going into its third season, Delocated has potential to be either a significantly deeper and still hilarious show or transform into that overly complicated and only occassionaly funny show. Either way, it seems to be in good hands.

Lucca Restaurant & Bar: Great Happy Hour or Greatest Happy Hour?

Being perfectly honest, after first arriving at Lucca, my expectations were set pretty low. From the outside, it looked like a restaurant/bar that places more importance on being a bar than being a restaurant. Other midtown restaurants instantly came to mind like a post-war flashback, places like Bistro 33 (recently went out of business) and the always popular and consistently less than satisfactory Hanger 17. Perhaps my judgment was a bit hasty, because my opinion began to change quickly following being seated.

"Cozy" is definitely what the decor aimed to be. High ceilings, brick walls, tiled floors and warm lighting is usually synonymous with somewhere that you would go to relax, or to take a date. As for whether it actually achieved the vibe it was shooting for... I would say not completely. The large, colorful, and ultimately jarring paintings of animals that hung on the wall clashed with the overall theme. Also, wicker chairs aren't usually the first thing that comes to mind when thinking about a comfortable environment.

Given that we arrived within the 3-6 p.m. time frame, we were given a small menu that said "Happy Hour: Bites from the Kitchen" in bold print on the top. In an attempt to bring as much variety to the table as possible, we ordered all 12 appetizers on the menu. The thought of ordering multiple appetizers at a restaurant would usually make my wallet cower in fear, however, the prices during Lucca's happy hour are mind-bogglingly low. The most expensive appetizer on the happy hour menu was $3, which is low enough to boost even my bank account's confidence.

Not so surprisingly, the happy hour drink menu was just as moderately priced. A selection of about 14 different beers, wines, and cocktails were available for around $2 each. Paul and I ordered the "El Toro" Amber Ale, one of the three beers on tap. We were looking to come up with a meaningful critique of the beverage. "Well, it tastes like... Beer," said Paul, which pretty much summed up the entirety of our opinion on the drink.

The service staff was helpful, friendly, and definitely more than aware of the fact that we were going to be writing critical reviews of the restaurant. Them being aware of our purpose probably had a drastic effect on the level of service we received. But really, how could you ever complain about such excellent service? Regardless of the situation, the waiter seemed to be very attentive to the quality of the food. He even went so far as to return one of the plates to the kitchen because he thought it wasn’t up to standards.

When the appetizers came out, the quality of Lucca as a restaurant was demonstrated in the perfect little morsels of food that each plate contained. There were zucchini chips perfectly cut into thin slices and fried to a crisp golden brown, surprisingly fresh mussels in a rich white wine sauce and perfectly cooked steak on a skewer with a tasty pesto blend. These weren’t conventional appetizers by any means. The highlight was the meatball with polenta and marinara. The meatball was perfectly cooked and balanced with Italian herbs, but it was the unbelievably smooth and creamy polenta that stole the show. Polenta has never quite reached that level of creaminess before, and it was a textural phenomenon that I’ll not soon forget.

One of the low points of the meal was one of the appetizers brought out that was supposedly off the menu. It was the cauliflower fritters with harissa sauce. The fritters had an interestingly light texture, but had really no flavor to speak of. The Tunisian harissa sauce didn’t make up for the missing flavor in the fritters, and it lacked a spicy kick that might’ve saved the dish. Also, the salty and spicy almonds along with the walnut and brie plate weren’t necessarily low points so much as they were dull in comparison to the other appetizers. These two appetizers felt more like food that one would only order to accompany a strong drink, but nothing that could ever hold up as an individual dish.

Contrary to my low expectations, Lucca proved to deliver an excellent dining experience. The happy hour menu provides a very small taste of the type of food that the restaurant is all about. Thankfully, that small taste was delicious enough to make me want to return for a more complete meal. The passion for ingredients and extra attention to execution came through in the petite bites that we were given, and it was more than enough to grab my interest. If the intent of this happy hour is to present a teaser in hopes that it's enjoyable enough to come back for the dinner menu, they've succeeded.

Full Backpacks, Empty Wallets

It isn't enough that Sacramento State University's bookstore forces students to pay ridiculous amounts for textbooks. They like to taunt you about it afterwards. The Hornet Bookstore provides nothing but disappointment for students looking to cash in at the end of the semester.


"Let's see here... We can give you 28 dollars for this one, five dollars for this one, and we can't buy this one back," the lady behind the counter said. "Why not?" I ask. "It's an old edition," she says, "You see, they release a new edition of this textbook every year."

One would think that the bookstore would be willing to refund a greater portion of that initial investment. Is 50 percent too much to ask for? It isn't like there aren't profits to be had, as the books that are sold in used condition are still relatively expensive. Taking a small loss to earnings could significantly help to relieve some of the financial burden on the students.

As disappointing as it may be, there is just no obligation for this privately-owned bookstore to accede to a student's needs. This is understandable, as it's not in their best financial interests to help alleviate the amount students are paying for textbooks. What isn't understandable is the unreasonable extent that the bookstore is driving for that profit margin given the current economic situation.

Along with the ever-increasing cost of college tuition fees, the rising cost of textbooks threaten students' financial stability. The wholesale prices charged by textbook publishers have jumped 62 percent since 1994, and that doesn't account for the additional amount levied by the bookstore itself. After the Hornet Bookstore was privatized, prices of textbooks has steadily risen and the money given to re-sellers has steadily sunk.

What's worse is the publishing industry's practice of constantly producing new editions. These new versions, released usually every 2 or 3 years, are an attempt by the publisher to bring in more profits. A recent study conducted by the Student Public Interest Research Group found that the new editions are on average 12 percent more expensive than the edition that it replaces. Also, the study also found that 72 percent of college professors believe that new editions are necessary "less than half of the time."

Thankfully, studying journalism doesn't usually necessitate a hefty book load. Purchasing the AP Stylebook and often times a couple short, cheaper books is the most expected from a journalism major. When the time comes to fork out the money for my textbooks, it's usually the general education courses that rack up the largest bill.

My girlfriend's textbooks, on the other hand, cost enough to make up for mine and then some. As a speech-language pathology major with a minor in biology and psychology, textbooks don't come cheap. She spent the first two semesters buying books for courses from the Hornet Bookstore. The combined total from the two semesters was somewhere near $900. The amount is covered by her financial aid, but leaves little left over for paying tuition fees.

These preposterous prices are the reason that she, like many other students, has moved her purchases online. Online new and used book sellers and buyers like the recently popularized Chegg.com have emerged as a bit of relief for starving students. Chegg.com is just one of the many websites that students can buy college textbooks at a reasonable cost, and even rent out books as an even cheaper alternative to buying. Since the market is competitive, the prices have remained lower then a majority of campus bookstores.

Most college students are frugal, and they will take their money to where their dollar goes the furthest. Right now, buying textbooks from our bookstore is actually a monetary mistake. There a couple ways for the bookstore to fix that, the obvious one being slightly lower prices. The buyback rates could also be increased to a more reasonable amount, and accepting old editions at a fraction of wholesale buyback prices would be considerate.

The Hornet Bookstore should make a change, if not for the sake of students, for itself. The market for buying and selling college textbooks online is expanding. If the bookstore doesn't adapt, it could be seeing a loss in business.

Playing the Devil's Advocate or Sincerely Passionate?

During the late 1930s and early 1940s, UK-based news magazine The Economist was covering Adolf Hitler's accession to power and economic policies. At the time, the National Socialist Party - the Nazi party - was implementing policies that transferred the ownership of institutions from the government into private hands. It was through The Economist's coverage of Nazi Germany's economic structures that the term 'privatization' was coined.

Apparently some libraries have stocked a couple extra copies of Mein Kampf in their collection...

Just this year, multiple libraries in San Diego, Santa Clarita and Vallejo have been outsourced and/or privatized due to the budgetary problems within California's government. California isn't the only state moving this public good towards private ownership; Oregon, Texas and Tennessee have all given up on having some of their libraries thrive off of the government's backing.

Privatization seems like an easy solution, assist the economy by putting the product into the hands of a business and simultaneously take pressure off of the taxpayers. Supporters say that the private sector can even do it more efficiently and will have more accountability to the marketplace. However, placing libraries functions into the hands of private businesses may have unforeseen consequences.

According to the American Library Association, the outsourcing and privatization of libraries can have a far-reaching, resoundingly harmful impact on the services and management of a library. Most of the businesses that take over public libraries will just completely clean house, and replace the staff with inexperienced people who will work for less money. This procedure leads to essential library tasks such as cataloging going by the wayside under the unseasoned management.

If a private company took over a library and desired solely to take advantage of the public by charging ridiculous prices for rentals, what could stop them? How would people know if they are being cheated anyways? Unlike a publicly-owned institution, information within a private organization can be kept confidential. How could the public control what books that a private library keeps in stock, why wouldn't they reserve space for only the most popular books on the shelves?

The transition from the public to the private sector is something that is presently occurring, so there are a great deal of questions that remain unanswered. Many library associations, like the ALA, are worried that all publicly funded libraries could eventually become privately owned. My biggest question: How can we prevent these corporate takeovers from happening altogether?

Unfortunately, there is no quick solution that is readily available. Government is struggling financially to support these institutions, and is more than happy to give them away. The only way to solve the problem is by asking people to re-evaluate whether this is the best course of action for the future of libraries. If enough people were to consider this to be a negative route, then hopefully our government would recognize the concern and work to keep libraries in the public sector.

Libraries have always served as a public good and are necessary for a democratic society. When a library's primary concern shifts from how it can best serve the public to how it can be most profitable, there is something seriously wrong with our priorities. Having a library that answers to share-holders is like the Peace Corps taking orders from U.S. Marines, it just defeats the purpose.

The right to learn and the right to be informed are principle human rights satisfied simply by the existence of libraries. For-profit businesses have no interest in protecting these rights, and will certainly restrict access to this public service if it means making a quick buck. This isn't Blockbuster, it's a damn library. So please, be quiet and courteous to your fellow library-goers, and leave them where they belong: The public sector.

Changing Vibes

On a late Sunday afternoon, March 23, 2008, BART took me into San Francisco to see indie-rock band Vampire Weekend play at the Rickshaw Stop. This was my third show at the venue, and I had by then been familiarized with its easily identifiable traits.

On the outside, there exists no real signage marking its location to the random passersby. On the inside, the place has a charming, albeit slightly dirty, dive bar ambiance. It's small, no more then 500 people could comfortably fit inside. Upon entering, a mad dash must be made upstairs to secure an invaluable spot on one of the old sweat-stained couches. Actually enjoying watching concerts inside of a cramped, stuffy and occasionally smelly place probably seems unnatural to some. The general sentiment amongst the young and pretentious hipster contingency that pack in there every single night is that the Rickshaw Stop is the only place to see your favorite band's gig.

This band, during that time, happened to be a favorite of mine. Vampire Weekend was formed Feb. 6, 2006, by lead singer Ezra Koenig. Shortly after their signing onto XL Records and releasing their self-titled debut album Jan. 29, 2008, the band started to obtain a fair amount of commercial success. Vampire Weekend's album peaked at 17 on the Billboard Top 200 and reached 15 on the UK Top Albums Chart. All the unprecedented popularity they garnered from having their singles played on the radio meant one thing in particular; they were too big to play at a venue like Rickshaw Stop ever again.

A great deal of the more pompous crowd at Rickshaw probably lost all interest in the band after having broken the mainstream barrier. There's no point in calling them sell-outs, Vampire Weekend were successful right out of the gates. Having a couple new groupies isn't detrimental as long as the music stays the same. Apparently it has, given the success of their recently released sophomore album, Contra. The tour that the band is doing to promote the album comes to venues that are appropriate to their new status, thus, Rickshaw Stop isn't on the agenda. As chance would have it, a friend approached me with extra tickets to see Vampire Weekend live at Berkley's Greek Theatre last Saturday.

The Greek Theatre in Berkley is a unique venue, to say the least. One of the first major differences is the fact that it's outside, which creates some weird acoustic effects, terrible echoing being one of them. It gives the impression of being a huge colosseum, a place that you're more likely to watch gladiators battle to the death then wimpy indie-rockers perform. Sizeable concrete slabs stretch out from the area in front of the stage to 50 feet behind it, and are built to seat a large amount of people. Even further back than that is a slippery slope covered with grass, comprised of people comfortably sprawled out on picnic blankets and lawn chairs.

Vampire Weekend played well, much in the same way that they did at the Rickshaw. The only problem caused by their mark of fame has been the change of venue. In a venue like this, the intimacy is non-existent. The sheer distance between the concert-goer and the band breaks down any sort of connection. It makes it harder to be genuinely interested when the stage is blockaded by a sea of greasy hair and dancing hippies. Half of the people were more engaged in talking, texting, and getting inebriated in one form or another then actually listening to the music. The crowd of Rickshaw may not be the most pleasant group, but at least they're interested.

The music hasn't changed, but the presence of screaming girls holding up signs with, "I HEART U EZRA!" scribbled on them could potentially be an adverse effect of all that recent attention.

Portrait of a Mexican Crime Scene

Mexico, a place where criminals rule the streets, crime goes unpunished, and the only authority you can rely on is the bullet in your gun.

Thinking of Mexico as this last standing remnant of a wild west makes it seem so much more exciting, doesn't it? I'll be the first to admit that I'm guilty of perceiving Mexico as being a place where crime runs rampant. There's no helping it, the stereotype is everywhere.  The last film that I watched that even bothered to portray Mexico was Sin Nombre. The entire movie revolved around the Mexican criminal gang Mara Salvatrucha and their cruel methods, needless to say, there were killings galore.

So, is there killings galore? According to Carlos González Gutiérrrez, Sacramento's Consul General of Mexico, there isn't. During the speech Gutiérrrez gave in Sacramento State's University Ballroom on Monday, he claimed that the violence that stems out of Mexico's criminal activities effect only a small portion of the population. Out of a recent sample taken of 100,000 Mexican citizens, 10 deaths are labeled as homicides each year. Much lower then Columbia, another place known for its troubles with crime, especially drug trafficking. In Columbia there are 48 murders a year for every 100,000 citizens.

"The Mexican government has been successful so far in their efforts in stomping out crime," Gutiérrrez said with a seemingly confident tone.

It is something worth being concerned about, as Mexico has had an extremely aggravating time in dealing with crime in the past, and it continues to. According to the Mexican Crime report of 2009, the unreported crime rate could be as high as 85 percent. Organized gangs and drug cartels in Mexico still account for most of the heroin, cocaine and marijuana brought into the United States. Political corruption has only recently been a problem brought to the surface, and has adversely effected the way crime has been dealt with in Mexico.

And with border security remaining just as high, apparently our government still perceives there being a threat on the other side.

As bad as it may be, it's good that somebody is at last trying to fight back. Before Monday's speech, I was just another one of those stereotypical people that believed that the place was just letting criminals run amok. Gutiérrrez gave me a more accurate picture of the modern Mexico, and how they've been just as fed up with the problem as how they've been pigeonholed. Assuredly Gutiérrrez knows how difficult fighting back crime in Mexico will be, and that's why it's especially important for people to know that its being fought.

During his speech Gutiérrrez said, "As the levels of violence go up, our efforts to prevent it increase as well." He continued on to mention how conflict, and bloodshed, was inevitable. There is a war raging between criminals and law enforcement right now in Mexico. If Mexico's authorities are being as vigilant as they'll need to be to put an end to crime in Mexico, then this certainly isn't going to bode well for the Mara Salvatrucha.

Sac State's Annual Kool-Aid Acid Test

When Monday's Column Writing class turned out to be attending some unexplainable, seemingly outlandish event going on in the University Union, the balloons and confetti that I found littering the campus made more sense. The uncharacteristic amount of people flooding into and out of the Union made more sense as well.

There were students that were giggling, damn near frolicking coming out of the place. Students would enter in looking only to eat score some quick and greasy food, but come out of the other side looking like they just got back from the carnival. No one is ever this excited about the Union. I followed a trail of cheap jungle decorations and discarded balloons to investigate.

As I enter into the Union, I find myself beset by the over-saturation of bodies crowding and blocking the pathways of the first floor. This loud, unmovable mob had faces filled with expressions of child-like glee. Some of the heads jutting out of the crowd were adorned with extravagant balloon hats, which were being worn with a reasonable amount of pride. After squeezing through the crowd, I come face to face with a gentleman that appears to be sporting a lion's mane on his head. Its right about then that I think to myself, "Okay, this just got trippy."

Above me, little inflatable monkeys and artificial vines hung low enough to brush through my hair. Blown-up balloon flowers and balloons with animal prints were spread throughout the room. There were desks set up in awkward positions, nearly all of which had people clamoring around them. Students were rushing around, having their "game card" stamped at every notable location in the Union. Signs promised prizes for completing a game card, expensive items like video game consoles, iPods and mountain bikes.

All of the chaos was distracting me from the task at hand, I had to remain focused. I came to be a journalist, it was time to ask questions. My first thought is to find the culprit behind all of this sensory overload. Surely enough, in the middle of the room I find a man vigorously twisting and tugging at balloons, forming them into peculiar shapes. His placement in the room made him the center of attention, so it seemed only natural to get his story.

The problem was, the man had a line that stretched across the room. All students eager and willing to patiently wait for a chance at one of those extraordinary balloons. So I, not wanting to rudely interrupt the delicate art of ballooning, waited in line as well. It gave me the opportunity to observe his work, and realize just how incredible it really was.

Students were asking for their favorite characters and animals to be reinterpreted as balloons. I watched in awe as he created the most intricate balloon version of a Ninja Turtle you could ever imagine. Most the people in line were discussing how impressive his stuff was. However, some things requested by students didn't seem to translate well into balloon art. A textbook, for example, does not make for a good balloon.

I reached the front of the line after what felt like a lifetime of watching air being blown into rubber. The balloon artist was Richard Jimenez, who turned out to be an extremely friendly guy. The answers to my questions would come slowly, only between breaks he took from breathing into the balloon. Apparently he has been perfecting the craft of balloon art for a long time, over 15 years. Jimenez also entertains at parties as a disk jockey, and no, he doesn't do clown stuff.

What balloon did I ask for? Well, I figured to commemorate the occasion I would get the fishing pole that Phlagleblast's Sasquatch-like mascot was holding. It was only one of the estimated 3,000 balloons Jimenez made that day.

I entered into Phlagleblast with absolutely no expectations to speak of, which may account for why I left feeling so enlightened. More strange and random things need to be going on at the campus, I approve of this.